Girl in the Woods: A Memoir by Aspen Matis is a coming-of-age account of a young woman battling her demons while thru-hiking the PCT. The story starts with Debby Parker who’s desperate to shed her overprotective past. Her mother has always controlled every aspect of her life, going as far as dressing and grooming her. Feeling helpless to take care of herself, Parker hopes that college will provide a new start. But when she’s raped by a fellow student on just the second night, her life is derailed. She stays in her dorm room, neglecting personal hygiene and wearing the same clothes for days on end. Her fears come true—she’s truly unable to function on her own.
When she confides in family members about the rape, they don’t understand the gravity of what happened. Her mother implores her to keep quiet. Her father and brother don’t want to acknowledge it at all. The school takes minimal action against the offender, leaving Parker feeling trapped and riddled with guilt and shame. Her academic life suffers and she realizes she can’t finish the year. But instead of retreating back to the relative safety of her mother, Parker sets off to thru-hike the PCT, craving a physical challenge to work through her angst.
What surprises me is Parker’s stamina. She seems so frail, yet she takes off running from the southern terminus. Part of her speed is due to her light pack. She carries only the bare necessities—and sometimes not even that. She demonstrates poor judgment right off by failing to pack an adequate supply of water in the desert. Another time, she doesn’t pack enough food. On both occasions, trail angels come to the rescue. Incidents like this make the reader wonder if Parker’s success is due to the help of others.
Parker also displays socially odd behavior. She strips naked in front of male hikers, setting up a weird dynamic with the opposite sex on the trail. In addition to that, she fails to bond with potential female allies. She’s full of contradictions, yearning for independence, yet relying on male companionship. Oftentimes, she’s more obsessed with her appearance and how others view her than focusing on the journey itself. Naming herself “Wild Child”, she goes against trail protocol of fellow hikers choosing a moniker. Her identity is questioned throughout her memoir—who exactly is this person? Is she Debby Parker, “Wild Child”, or the author’s name—Aspen Matis?
Despite her faults, Matis (the name becomes clear by the end) has the endurance to be a thru-hiker. Some days she hikes for over thirty miles without hardly breaking a sweat, or so it seems. The physical aspect of the trail doesn’t concern her as much as the social challenges. Not that she’s in short supply of suffering—it catches up to her big time in the form of flesh-eating bacteria. The reader wonders if she will be able to complete the journey when she returns to the care of her doting mother.
There are many twists and turns that make this memoir different from others I’ve read. Matis’ problematic decision-making provides compelling reading, as you’re never sure what situation she’ll get herself into next. At one point, she even gets kidnapped, though I was left scratching my head as to what had actually occurred.
The last part of the journey was the hardest for me to get through. Not that it was hard for Matis—she falls easily in love with a fellow thru-hiker. The love affair is so over-the-top, I came away wondering the true message of this memoir. Is it independence and empowerment? If so, the message gets muddled, and then completely lost by the end. Debby Parker becomes Aspen Matis, yet the two have similar identities. Yes, Matis completed the trail and found love, but she still seems prone to the same insecurities and social quirks.
For me, Matis proved herself physically, but she had the advantage of her parents’ financial support, complete with a credit card and her mother’s elaborate care packages. She also had the support of trail angels who saw her through some ridiculously bad planning. Would she have made it without the help of others? I’m not sure.
Matis’ epiphany seems to come with the love and acceptance of a man. I’m not sure if that’s a message I would promote in a memoir, but it’s authentically her story and her way of overcoming trauma. It should be noted that five percent of her book royalties get donated to RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network), which is admirable. It does feel uplifting that she got to openly talk about her sexual assault, especially after being told to keep it under wraps. Perhaps that’s the most inspiring part of her tale.
After some research, I found that Matis has written a follow-up memoir entitled Your Blue is Not My Blue which might explain further her foibles. Although there’s more hiking involved, the main focus is on her relationship with the thru-hiker who won her heart at the end of Girl in the Woods. After being married for three years, he leaves to attend a friend’s funeral and never returns. I’m tempted to read about the circumstances leading to the point, and if in the aftermath, Matis/Parker/Wild Child finally accepts herself on her own terms. I truly hope that’s the case.
Trail Memoir 